(a)Muse in[g] Training

time to be a cat.

The strangest thoughts flood my consciousness when I’m at my parents’ house. Though once a symbol of my youthful oppression, this house still seems to be a hotbed of subconscious stimuli. Enough so that I can easily recall the sources of all my childhood angsts, the kernels of my still yet unfulfilled dreams, and the little things that used to make me tick but have slowly faded under the bustle of my “adult” life. It’s why I’m compelled to write.

I rarely write when I’m on campus, despite the nature of my major. Professional Writingmajors don’t necessarily get a whole lot of time for personal therapeutic ventures, and so it all comes pouring out when I’m given a day or two of simple reflection.

And suddenly, it dawned on me. The things I’m reflecting about lately aren’t connected to my angsts, my kernels or more fading personality ticks. I’m yearning for the simple things. I want to walk through a park holding someone’s hand. I want to watch movies with someone, lying on his chest, eating stale popcorn and sipping lukewarm coffee. I want to run through the rain with someone, cursing and laughing about how wet we’re both going to be when we finally reach my car to go home. I want someone to text me and call me and pester me until I’m annoyed because he likes to talk to me that much.

I’m reflecting about that simple human crux called companionship. It doesn’t necessarily have to be love in the true Shakespearean sense of the word. I just want to open wide for someone to help me remember what it’s like to be wanted again. Maybe it isn’t my parents’ house at all.

Maybe it’s just Spring making me crave these things.

Whatever it is, I don’t dislike it at all. In fact, it’s comforting to know that I can want all of those things still, after all the chaos and confusion. I’m a big fan of the cycle of things. If this were that kind of post, I’d launch into a theological discussion that would make Dan Brown happy, but it isn’t that kind of post.

Instead, I’ll close my reminiscence with a promise to myself:

I’ll stay happy alone, and when I do attach my life to someone else’s, I’ll remember that I am capable of being content with who I am because of who I am, and not because of who I’m with.

Possible (likely) locations in my future:

- Fort Worth, Texas
- Albany, NY
- Washington, D.C.

Other ideas:

- Syracuse, NY
- Manchester, NH

I’ll keep you posted. Life is looking up!

I just want all of the fake white noise to stop. Someone get me out of here.

ohmydarlingchyna:

Every kid should read something like this.

This is beautiful omg every library and school and human being should read this

this was so cute ((: